PASSING THOUGHTS

EPISODE 78: UNHEALTHY REASONS PEOPLE HAVE CHILDREN | PASSING THOUGHTS PODCAST | rbccmnq

July 23, 2023 Rebecca-Monique Episode 78
PASSING THOUGHTS
EPISODE 78: UNHEALTHY REASONS PEOPLE HAVE CHILDREN | PASSING THOUGHTS PODCAST | rbccmnq
Show Notes Transcript

To provide a sibling for other child or children...

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About host
Hi, I’m Rebecca-Monique: an ICF accredited (PCC) grief and trauma coach, and coach supervisor. My work is centred around supporting individuals through their healing and growth. 

My specialist areas are grief, trauma, anxiety, depression, addiction, sense of Self (identity), boundaries and confidence. My modes of coaching are somatic (i.e. embodied awareness) and transformational (i.e. a focus on attitudes, values, beliefs, behaviours, etc.).

I have particular interests in social sciences and human-centred disciplines, including psychology, psycholinguistics, sociology, spirituality and philosophy. 

I live in London, UK with my son (who is also blessed with the awesomeness that is hyphenated first names!).

You can find out more about my personal journey and what led me to becoming a coach here, and here.

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Hi, I’m Rebecca-Monique – an ICF accredited coach and coach supervisor – and these are my passing thoughts.

Do you want children or do you want to be a parent? This is a critical question to ask before conceiving. 

The former requires having and the latter requires being. 

To become a parent is a transformative process of both inner and outer worlds. A constant evolution.

Parenthood is an honour and a ginormous responsibility not just for another human’s physical, material and practical needs, but their emotional, spiritual and psychological needs, too. 

It’s challenging to examine why we really want children, because we might discover the answer to be selfish. 

Here are just a few unhealthy and problematic reasons people have children.  

  • Unplanned due to deliberate unprotected sex
  • For religion 
  • As part of their retirement plan i.e. someone to look after them when old 
  • To provide a sibling for other child or children
  • An attempt to save a dying relationship 
  • For status e.g. a declaration of maturity 
  • For financial gain i.e. to receive support from the government, a partner, or their parents
  • Societal or familial pressure i.e. the expectation to have children or coming from a big family and not wanting to feel left out if child-free. 
  • Acting out unresolved wounds or an attempt to solve psychological woes e.g. Wanting someone to control, wanting to feel needed, a distraction from inner-pain, emptiness, loneliness, lack of purpose  

The items on this list contribute to why there’s so much suffering in the world. Why so much generational and intergenerational pain exists. Why so many of us live incomplete and traumatic childhoods that we spend most of adulthood trying to resolve.

I have a choice of two questions for you this week. Of course, you’re at liberty to reflect on both:  

  • What were your parents' reasons for having you?
  • What were your reasons for having your child or children? 

Speak to you next week. Until then be well.