PASSING THOUGHTS

EPISODE 34: ALTERNATIVE PERSPECTIVES FOR HANDLING REJECTION AND DISAPPOINTMENT | PASSING THOUGHTS PODCAST | rbccmnq

• Rebecca-Monique • Episode 34

Share episode

What we think of as rejection may be something else working in our favour.

About host

Hi, I’m Rebecca-Monique: an ICF accredited (PCC) grief and trauma coach. My work is centred around supporting individuals through their healing and growth. 

My specialist areas are grief, trauma, anxiety, depression, addiction, sense of Self (identity), boundaries and confidence. My modes of coaching are somatic (i.e. embodied awareness) and transformational (i.e. a focus on attitudes, values, beliefs, behaviours, etc.).

I have particular interests in social sciences and human-centred disciplines, including psychology, psycholinguistics, sociology, spirituality and philosophy. 

I live in London, UK with my son (who is also blessed with the awesomeness that is hyphenated first names!).

You can find out more about my personal journey and what led me to becoming a coach here, and here.

Work with me

If you’re thinking about working together for 1:1 coaching, please start here. 

Listen,  subscribe and rate PASSING THOUGHTS

You can listen to all episodes – including transcriptions – here; subscribe via your preferred streaming services here; and rate the show on Apple Podcasts here. 

Support the PASSING THOUGHTS podcast 

If you find my content valuable, and would like to support my work, you can do so here via Ko-fi. 

Get in touch

If you’d like to get in touch about the podcast, please do so here.

Disclaimer

​​This podcast is not coaching, nor a replacement for coaching with an accredited professional.

These episodes are published with the understanding that the Coach and the Business are not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal or other professional services to its listeners.

If expert assistance is needed, the service of a competent professional should be sought.

Copyright © 2022 rbccmnq Limited. All rights reserved. 

Hi I’m Rebecca-Monique – an ICF accredited coach – and these are my passing thoughts. 

We don’t get everything we want in life, and that’s a blessing. 

Rejection is really protection and redirection in disguise. 

The job you didn’t get; the relationship that didn’t work out; an application or proposal that didn’t get accepted; the event you weren’t invited to; the group you’re no longer a part of.

Rejection is one of the most difficult emotions to manage because it cuts deep; right to the core. It elicits feelings of shame; about who we inherently are. We begin to believe false thoughts such as “there’s something wrong with me” or “I’m not worthy”. 

Let’s go a step further by looking at a closely linked feeling: disappointment. 

Disappointment usually occurs when we’ve placed a high expectation on something that fails to materialise or something that doesn’t manifest in the way we want it to. It’s not ‘YES’, and so it feels like an amplified ‘NO’. 

Here are 3 perspectives of looking at that ‘No’. 

1. Quite simply, No - the person, opportunity, environment, object isn’t right for you. We can’t see it at the time, because we’re blinded by desire, but we’re being  protected. What may feel like a loss is probably mitigating an even greater loss that would otherwise lie ahead. 

2. Not now – the timing isn’t right; perhaps some other pieces of the puzzle need to fall in place first. Wait a little longer without focusing on time. The delay is preparation. 

3. Something better lies ahead – When we want something so much, tunnel vision sets in. Perhaps we don’t realise we’re playing small and unaware that greater opportunities are waiting for us. The ‘no’ is redirecting us – our efforts, our imagination, our vision, and our focus –  so that we can meet what was ours all along.

My question for you this week is: 

Reflecting on  a time you felt rejected, what do you now see that  were you protected from and redirected to? 

Speak to you next week. Until then, be well.