PASSING THOUGHTS
PASSING THOUGHTS
EPISODE 91: 2 WAYS WE MAY HAVE BEEN WOUNDED BY OUR PARENTS GROWING UP | PASSING THOUGHTS PODCAST | rbccmnq
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Hi, I’m Rebecca-Monique: an ICF accredited (PCC) grief and trauma coach, and coach supervisor. My work is centred around supporting individuals through their healing and growth.
My specialist areas are grief, trauma, anxiety, depression, addiction, sense of Self (identity), boundaries and confidence. My modes of coaching are somatic (i.e. embodied awareness) and transformational (i.e. a focus on attitudes, values, beliefs, behaviours, etc.).
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I live in London, UK with my son (who is also blessed with the awesomeness that is hyphenated first names!).
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Hi, I’m Rebecca-Monique – an ICF accredited coach and coach supervisor – and these are my passing thoughts.
There are often two practices we carry out as parents:
1.
The first is overcompensating. This is where we try to address an imbalance of love and care by giving our children all the things that were denied to us or indirectly cater to our needs that were inadequately met.
But what we needed as children is not necessarily what our children need from us.
There’s a saying that adulthood is an attempt at completing childhood.
For example, if we felt ignored or neglected in childhood, we may become overly involved in our children’s activities which could lead to them feeling smothered.
2.
The second practice is repeating unhealthy patterns. This is often how generational trauma is passed down.
This could look like emotional, physical and psychological abuse and violence, codependency, parentification, upholding harmful family secrets, outdated mindsets, non progressive ways of living, toxic cultural expectations and ideals.
Times change; we change. When we refuse to question why things were done a certain way or acknowledge the negative impact of particular behaviours we contribute to the lineage of pain and suffering.
Cycle breaking is powerful. It requires courage, self awareness, compassion and wisdom.
My question for you this week is:
What examples from your childhood or parenthood can you identify?
Speak to you next week. Until then, be well.